


Flying Visit

by day_dream_girl



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Adult Content, Alternate Universe, Angst, F/M, Post Season/Series 07, Season/Series 05, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-10-03
Updated: 2012-10-03
Packaged: 2017-11-15 13:32:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/527849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/day_dream_girl/pseuds/day_dream_girl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An unexpected visitor turns up at Wolfram & Hart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Flying Visit

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of Joss Whedon, Warner Brothers and The Fox Network. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author.
> 
> Author's Notes: I decided to write a pairing I wouldn't normally write so I decided on Wesley/Buffy, don't ask me why cos I don't know :-) Oh and the poem that Buffy can barely recall is printed at the end of the page.

“Wes, I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“Why not? She’s a perfectly lovely girl, warewolf tendencies notwithstanding, and she seems to have taken some sort of interest in you.”

“You know I can’t. One moment of per-”

“Perfect happiness and Angelus rears his ugly head. Yes, yes we all know that. Just make sure you don’t experience a moment of perfect happiness.”

“It’s not as simple as that Wes, I-”

“Hi guys, I just got that report back on the organic samples Angel found on the-” Fred looked up from her folder of papers to where Angel and Wes were watching her. “Am I interrupting something?”

“No.” Angel said hastily. “So what about those samples?” His over eagerness caused her to look questioningly at Wesley.

“I was just telling him he should go out with Nina, since she’s interested.”

“Oh.” Fred replied a smile forming on her face. “That’s great! I was wondering when you were going to stop the moping and sulking, and the moodiness and start dating again.”

“Dating?! I don’t date.” He told her leaning back uncomfortably in the chair. “Besides there’s the whole curse thing, in case you forgot.”

“Mmmm.” Fred pursed her lips thinking, her brow furrowed, “well what if you just think about all the people you slaughtered and killed whenever you’re with her. That should stop the whole perfect happiness thing.”

Angel shook his head in disbelief. “You can’t be serious.”

“What’s that now?” Spike asked entering the office and Angel groaned.

“Angel’s going to start dating again.” Fred informed him.

“Oh is he now?”

“No, I’m not I don’t date. How many more times do I have to say this?”

“He’s worried about turning into Angelus again.” She told him lowly, so that nobody else could hear. Well almost nobody else.

“Hello, vampire hearing! I can hear the mailmen breathing three floors down.”

“Bit of an exaggeration there Broodman, mailroom’s only two floors down.” Spike pointed out. Angel glared at him. “So, worried about becoming all soulless and evil again eh? Why doncha just think of all those nuns in Tivoli when you’re with her. That’ll stop you getting too happy if you know what I mean.”

“I said that too!” Fred smiled up at him, “well not exactly that. I didn’t know about the nuns…and I’ve a feeling I don’t want to.” She said wrinkling her nose.

“Well you know what they say pet, great minds think alike.”

“And fools seldom differ.” Angel said sourly.

“Yes, well in any case, you’re outvoted. You have to go out with her now.”

“Wes’s right.” Fred nodded in agreement standing closer to the former watcher. “You’re outvoted three to one and I’m sure if Charles and Lorne knew you’d be outvoted five to one. You don’t have a choice really; you should ask her tomorrow morning when she wakes up. You could take her to breakfast somewhere nice with fruit and croissants and different kinds of juices you didn’t ever know existed!” she looked up and blushed when she saw the three concerned and surprised looks at her excitement over a simple meal. “I-I’m just suggesting.” She pulled a bit of hair behind her ear nervously and cleared her throat.

“Fred has a point.” Wes interjected, “You should strike while the iron’s hot as they say.”

“Well thank you all for your thoughts and contributions but if and when I decide to ask Nina out, it will be in my own time and in my own way.”

“You’d better hurry up mate, she ain’t immortal like you you know.”

“Everybody out!” Angel seethed and finally taking the hint the three of them left.

“He’s gonna ask her out soon right?” Fred hissed to the two men on either side of her.

“Of course.”

“Definitely.”

Fred smiled making her way to her lab with a light bounce in her step.

“Spike could I have a word?”

Spike turned around frowning at Angel, his face, as per usual, moody and annoyed.

“Close the door after you.” Angel told him sharply as he entered the office.

“Well?” Spike asked irritated.

“What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

“I don’t know what you’re on about Pops, memory must be going.”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about,” Angel told him dangerously, “I can smell you all over each other. I swear Spike if this is some sort of sick way to get over Buffy-”

“Hey! Don’t bring Summers into this. It’s got nothing to do with her.” He paced in front of Angel’s desk, his hands shoved into his pockets. “I care about her alright? I care about her a lot. Not going to do anything to hurt her so don’t go getting all overprotective father on me.”

“I hope you know what you’re doing. This is going to hurt a lot of people when it comes out and I mean it Spike, take one step out of line and there’ll be more then just me willing to put you down.” Angel told him warningly.

“Why don’t you concern yourself with your own love life, or lack of one and keep that big beak of yours out of other peoples. Alright granddad?” Spike snapped at him turning on his heel and banging the door closed after him.

\----------

“Oh here, let me help.” Fred grinned freeing Wesley of some the rather large stack of books and templates he was carrying to his office.

“Thank you Fred, but I think they may be a little heavy.”

Fred rolled her eyes. “I’ve told you before about this, you have to stop thinking like I need you to protect me. Besides it’s only a few books, it’s not like I’m asking you to leave me in a nest of vampires covered in blood.” She chastised him balancing the large books in her arms.

Wesley rose an eyebrow frowning. “I would hope that sort of situation would never arise.”

“I doubt it will.” She told him as they stepped into the elevator.

She blew out a puff of breath, causing the loose strands around her forehead to drift aimlessly into the air.

“Is something the matter?”

“Huh? Oh, no, it’s nothing. I’m just a little tired. I, uh I haven’t been sleeping well lately.” She flushed as the doors pinged open.

“Perhaps you should see someone. I know things have been a little…difficult for all of us lately.” Wes said concern lacing his voice.

“No really, it’s, it’s nothing.” She tried to reassure him as they reached his office and entered. He looked up and stopped mid stride, his eyes widening in surprise and Fred looked up at a pert, slim blonde standing in front of his desk dressed in a knee length flowy black skirt and a long sleeved, v-necked lace top. He placed his books on the small table by the couch and moved forward and Fred watched as he moved as if in a daze towards the girl, completely forgetting about her. She was a little miffed about that.

“Buffy?”

“Wesley.” She looked faintly surprised and tilted her head to the side. “I guess that ol’ saying is true. Time really can work miracles.” She said dryly looking him over. She peered over his shoulder to the brunette and Fred walked forward, her arms still full of books as she smiled, trying to balance the books with one arm while holding out her right hand.

“Hi, I’m Winifred Burkle, but you can call me Fred. I can’t tell you how great it is to finally meet you, I’ve heard so much about you, lately it’s just been Buffy this, Buffy that. At least now I can put a face to the name.” She gushed as Wesley quickly relieved her of her burden flashing her a brief apologetic smile.

“Right.” Buffy said shaking her hand. “Willow warned me about you.”

“Oh.” Fred’s brow furrowed as she looked at Wesley.

“In a good way I mean.” Buffy hastened to reassure her. “You’re all sciency and inquisitive and stuff and Wills told me you might be a little excited to, y’know without sounding big headed, to meet me.”

“Well, yeah I guess. Uh, I, I think I should go. I got a big evil lab to run.” Fred explained backing out of the room and turning on her heel leaving as quickly as she could.

Wesley shook his head as he watched her flee from sight and turned to his former, supposed, pupil where she stood with her arms crossed.

“I thought you were in Europe.”

She shrugged. “I came back.”

“So I see.” He sat uneasily on his small couch and her eyes followed his every move.

“See something you like.”

“Yeah, I was looking for a jacket just like that. Don’t think I’ll bother now. Gotta tell ya though, it’s nice to know that even though you can change the package, make it a bit more attractive looking, it’s still the same crap underneath.”

He raised an inquisitive eyebrow and she tightened her jaw, her arms contracting around her small frame.

“You should have told me about Angelus. I would have come.” She said quietly, a shake in her voice.

“I know.” He leaned forward his hands loosely clenched together. “That’s why I didn’t. You never could think logically where Angel was concerned.”

“Excuse me?” her eyes narrowed in accusation, some of her golden blonde hair falling just in front of her left eye.

“You heard me.”

“Don’t you dare lecture me about Angel. I killed him. I put a sword through his heart. Angel’s. Not Angelus’s. I killed him because I had to. Why am I even bothering? You weren’t even there.”

“And how often have you used that line in Sunnydale when you were detaching yourself from your friends and family, when you refused to let anyone in?”

She shortened the gap between them and slapped him hard against the cheek, the crack of hitting skin electrifying the air. He rubbed his jaw and raised his eyebrow as if she’d just proven his point.

“And they told me you were the cold emotionless slayer.” He said dryly.

“Faith. You picked Faith to fight him, to control him. It should have been me,” she told him pointing between her breasts her eyes bright with fire. “Angelus is mine. My responsibility. I know how he works, how he moves, she hadn’t a clue.”

“Faith could do the job better then you Buffy, we both know that.”

She looked stung before her anger flared up again. “So that’s it? You just let out a murderer and torturer because you decided it was the right thing to do? You’re still the same arrogant bastard from Sunnydale.”

“And you’re still the ill trained slayer who allows her feelings and personal relationships to cloud her professional choices.”

“Yet I still managed to live longer then most of them.”

“You died twice.”

“And came back each time.”

“You were lucky.”

She shrugged. “If you say so, I had my friends, they’re the ones that brought me back.”

“Most of whom possess magical abilities or have some sort of paranormal knowledge or demon background.”

“And I’m stronger because of them.”

“Nobody’s denying that Buffy,” he told her calmly. “You just tend to ignore their advice and your watchers and do whatever it is you want to do.”

“What the hell would you know about it? As soon as there was a whiff of danger you were running for the hills in your impeccably tailored stuffy English suits!” She hissed at him.

“Giles told me about Spike when he wanted to recruit me for the new council. He was a threat Buffy, a liability and he should have been eliminated. Instead you let your emotions get in the way of your rationale. It’s amazing you even survived this time.”

“If I’d killed Spike, I wouldn’t be standing here right now and neither would you.”

“What are you doing here Buffy? I somehow doubt it’s just to berate me.” he couldn’t help the irritation in his voice.

“Cordelia.” She answered shortly. “I only found out a few days ago. We may not have been best friends but…she was still one of us. I didn’t get to go to the memorial.”

“Of course.” Wesley replied feeling a pang of sorrow at the sound of her name.

“Hey, is this the little stud muffin we’ve all been hearing about?”

Wes and Buffy looked over at the door to where Lorne had just entered. “Am I interrupting something?”

“No, not at all Lorne. This is Buffy Summers, the vampire slayer. Buffy this is Lorne, he’s in charge of the entertainment division here at Wolfram & Hart.”

She smiled tightly. “Hi.”

“Well it’s just fabulous to meet you at long last honey, believe me. So…seen the boss yet?”

“No. I, he wasn’t there earlier. Maybe I’ll try him now.” She gave Wesley one final look brushing quickly past the pylean and out of sight.

\----------

“Excuse me, you can’t just walk into Mr Angel’s office without an appointment.” Buffy stopped dead in her tracks and turned to the all too familiar annoyed chirpy voice behind her.

“Harmony?” she asked carefully walking back to the blonde’s desk.

“Oh. It’s you, Slayer.” She replied sourly.

Buffy’s eyes narrowed and she crossed her arms. “You work here? For Angel?”

“Yeah,” Harmony replied, “Hello, I am sitting behind the desk that says Angel’s PA.”

“It doesn’t say that.” Buffy pointed out.

“The sign’s being cleaned,” she replied annoyed, “Doesn’t matter, you can’t go in there.”

“Oh please.” Buffy said walking on.

“Hey!” She heard Harmony call behind her as she opened the door forcefully, determinedly walking in. She halted after her eyes quickly scanned the office and she saw Angel sitting on one of the couches with a blonde girl, his arm around her shoulders as she rested her head on his chest. Buffy’s eyebrows rose at the intimate look of the couple. She couldn’t help the stab of jealousy and betrayal that coursed through her body in that split second before he saw her.

“Buffy.” Angel jumped up with the girl. “Uh, this is…this is unexpected.”

“I’m getting that.”

“I told you you couldn’t come in here.” She heard Harmony hiss behind her, “Sorry boss.” She smiled apologetically at him.

“It’s okay Harmony, you can go. Uh Nina, could you give us a minute.”

“Sure,” the girl replied looking warily over at Buffy, “I gotta go babysit Ellie anyway. Call me tonight?”

“Uh, yeah, right.”

She reached up and kissed him passionately. Buffy looked away feeling something between amusement at the girl’s obvious insecurity and envy at the fact that this girl was clearly in a position to be allowed to kiss Angel passionately.

Angel watched her out of the corner of his eye before finally pulling away from Nina and smiling at her uneasily. “Bye Nina.”

“Bye.” She smiled seductively and sauntered across the room looking over Buffy. “Nice to meet you.” She said as she passed and left.

Buffy remained silent and closed the door after her.

“Wow,” she said eventually walking around the office nodding her head, “so this is what it’s like on the dark side.”

“Buffy,” Angel said warningly.

“Well what did you expect Angel? A bunch of flowers and a thank you banner for deciding to work for the evil we’re meant to be fighting?”

“It’s not like that. We’re making a difference here. We’re changing things, working from the inside out.”

“Angel, you work for one of the most evil law firms in the world. They are not going to let you ‘reform’ them. They’re evil, okay, the big bad, you’re not crazy enough to actually think they’d just give you all this for nothing are you?”

“Is that why you’re here? Cos you think I’m making a mistake. Because if it is you’re about six months too late.” He prowled towards her silently like a panther his head tilted considering her. “Or is it something else? Is there another slayer around here somewhere you wanna find before I do because you can’t trust me?” he finished angrily.

“I can’t trust you Angel. Not while you’re working for them. I told Andrew to take her away from here and I meant it. I can’t depend on you anymore Angel, not while you’re doing this.”

His jaw tightened as he stalked away and sat behind his desk, leaning back on his chair, his hand rubbing his jaw thoughtfully.

“So why are you here?”

“I didn’t come to see you. I came to see Cordelia.”

“You’re been to the cemetery?”

She shook her head. “No, not yet.” She looked at him still as a statue. “I’m sorry. I know you two were…close. I never thought anything like this would ever happen to Queen C, then again she was a long way from being the cheerleader back in Sunnydale.”

“Yeah.” Angel hunched over his clenched fists on the desk. “Have you seen Spike?” he asked raising his eyes to her.

“No,” she shifted uncomfortably. “I’m trying to put it off as much as possible.”

“He’ll be eager to see you.”

“How have things been with you two?”

“Oh you know, occasionally trying to fight each other to the death. Same old, same old.”

“You two can really be childish at times.”

“He started it!”

She rolled her eyes. “Some things never change. Where is he?”

“I don’t know. He has an apartment across town, you could try there.”

“He has an apartment?”

“He claims he’s helping the helpless, doing what I should be doing.”

Buffy’s eyebrows rose but she said nothing about it. “I’ll go see him later.”

“I’ll get Wesley to take you.” He said reaching for the phone.

“Amazingly enough, as a slayer I think I can handle myself going through the city of LA if you just give me the directions.” She replied sardonically.

“Buffy, Wesley’s going with you.”

“Fine. Whatever.”

\---------

It took a few moments before she saw them. So entranced in her current activity and the man breathing below her, his hands and mouth making her feel things she hadn’t felt in what felt like forever that she was completely oblivious to anything outside of the two of them.

Sated she collapsed on top of his chest, tired, relaxed with a happy buzz running through her whole body. Opening her eyes a movement caused her head to snap to the left and she saw them. Saw him.

Her eyes widened frightened and ashamed as she clumsily tried to pull the covers over her and scramble out of the bed.

“Wesley!” she gasped as his eyes turned cold and blank, as he looked over her shoulder to where the other man sat open-mouthed looking past Wesley to the slayer.

“Buffy.” His voice was barely a whisper. Hurt flashed in her eyes for a brief second.

“Spike. I see you’re back to you’re old self. Sleeping with other people’s women. Saving the world really changed you.”

“Hey, who d’you think you are coming in here and yelling at us like that. We’re both consenting adults and they’re not going out. Tell ‘em pet.” He said turning to Fred.

“I-It’s not what you think!” Her eyes never strayed from Wesley her voice was choked. “Wesley, I swear, it’s not!”

“Really? Because from here it looks like you’re fucking a vampire Fred.” He replied coolly as he turned with Buffy and they left.

“Wesley!” she called out after him in panic and desperation trying to clamber out of the bed only a strong arm pulled her back and lips kissed her soothingly on the neck.

“He’ll be alright pet. Had to find out sometime.” Spike told her kissing away the stray tears that leaked out of the corner of her eyes. “Both did.”

“Not like this.” She sobbed. “I never wanted him to find out like this.”

\----------

Buffy climbed out of the car into the warm evening air of LA. They had said nothing on the way over, neither really wanting to talk. The only sound had come from the beeping of the car as Wesley had set the alarm on.

It had that eerie quiet that all cemeteries had and Buffy shivered inside her cream coat, wrapping it closer around her. Suddenly she stilled and Wes stopped a half step ahead of her turning curiously to her.

“My spidey sense is tingling.” She murmured looking around before her eyes focused on a mangled dark shadow over to the right. Wes followed her gaze.

“Vampire?”

“Well done Wes, your powers of observation are as strong as ever I see.”

He frowned at her but she didn’t even give him a second thought as she wet her lips and stalked towards the moving darkness leaving him to follow after her.

“Hey guys, mind if I join the party?” She asked smiling innocently at them.

“Who the hell are you?” The burlier vampire asked, his dirty, black vest barely covering his overly large stomach

She gasped dramatically. “You don’t know me? Wes, perhaps you should make the introductions.”

“Of course. This is Buffy, perhaps you may have heard of the vampire slayer in Sunnydale? The one who defeated Angelus and survived eight apocalypses?”

“Nine.” Buffy interjected.

“Oh, I’m sorry. Nine.”

The other, smarter looking, vampire snorted looking her up and down. “You? You look like a little bitty breeze could blow you over.”

“Oooh, is that a challenge? Cos, I gotta tell ya, I haven’t done this in a little while and I’m begging for a good fight.”

The two vampires looked at each other and shrugged. “Not like we got anything on Reggie.” The smartly dressed vampire said to the other who spat on the ground.

“’Kay.” He agreed scuffing the ground with his left boot before the both pounced on them.

The smaller one kicked Wes sharply in the stomach sending him flying while the boorish looking one jumped towards Buffy pinning her to the ground.

“Hello there girly.” He grinned down at her and she wrinkled her nose.

“Every heard of breath freshener, or mints?” She commented before she drew her knees up and kicked him sending him head over heels behind her. Quickly regaining her fighting position she punched him twice and high kicked him in the face.

Wes regained his footing and steadied himself as the other vampire lunged for him again. He managed to evade him and kicked him in the back. The vampire growled turning and Wes grabbed his arm twisting it behind his back while the vampire howled in pain before twisting and wrapping his arm around Wesley’s neck. The vampire chuckled and Wes could feel his sharp teeth graze his neck. “This’ll be fun.”

“Yes, I think it will.” Wes agreed as he pressed his wrist against the vampire’s heart and his stake shot out of his shirt turning the vampire to dust. He ran his hand through his hair vigorously and brushed down his clothes trying to get rid of as much as the dust as possible. Vampire dust always smelled foul and it stayed with you days later.

He sighed and looked towards where Buffy was fighting the other vampire known as Reggie. He leaned against one of the headstones and watched her work before it dawned on him that she was playing with him. She could have killed the vampire on four different opportunities, instead she was letting him regain his footing and continue to fight. The killer look in her eyes reminded him of the cat his mother used to have. It used to bring back mice from the back field and play with it letting it get so far away before it would pounce on it and prod and poke it until it finally got bored enough to end it’s miserable life.

Finally she kicked him onto his back and taking out a stake from her boot stabbed him in the heart smiling in satisfaction as he disintegrated into dust.

She took a deep breath and smiled over at him an eyebrow arched.

“I still got it Wes.”

“Indeed.” He conceded pushing off from the granite headstone. “But then again I wouldn’t have expected anything less from Buffy Summers.”

She cocked her head to the side. “Guess not.”

\----------

Cordelia Chase,  
1981-2004  
Beloved friend and daughter

It was simple, a small marble rock etched with her name and dates of birth and death. Nobody would ever guess to look at it that she’d fought the things that lived in the shadows and in their nightmares. They never would have guessed how she had changed from a rich, superficial ditzy girl to a caring, determined, beautiful woman who had effectively sacrificed her life to help others.

Buffy sighed before blessing herself and turning to Wesley. “It’s hard to believe.”

“I know, I’m still having trouble accepting it myself.”

“We’ve lost so many Wes, Ms Calendar, Mom, Anya, Cordy…I sometimes wonder if it was really worth all the hurt and pain.”

“Yes, but we keep on fighting because it’s what we’re meant to do. Sometimes things happen we don’t understand but all we can do is try to accept and move on, doing what is for the greater good even if it means doing something we may think at the time is wrong.”

Wesley shivered in his leather jacket finally realising Buffy was staring at him.

“What?”

“Nothing, I just never realised before…”

He looked at her to continue.

“We’re kinda alike. Keep fighting for the greater good, no matter what. I didn’t realise that the first time I met you. The way I treated you in Sunnydale, well,” she sighed looking down at her shoes before meeting his gaze, “it was wrong. I was wrong. I’m sorry.”

He looked surprised but nodded. “Thank you. Although to be fair I was a bit of a pillock.”

She chuckled. “You’ll get no argument from me there.” She paused biting her lip before continuing. “Has there ever been another?”

He looked at her questioningly

“Another slayer who fell for a vampire?”

He shook his head. “The watcher’s diaries don’t chronicle everything…but I’m not aware of anybody else.”

She shook her head. “And then I come along and end up with two of them. Ironic huh?”

“Did you love Spike?” he asked curiously.

“No. I told him I did. In Sunnydale, it was stupid and I didn’t mean it. He knew it too. I just felt like I owed him or something. Here he was dying and I’d never given him the only thing he wanted from me. I know it was wrong and stupid but there was adrenaline, dying, and stuff.

Sometimes, when I was with him, I felt like, maybe I could but then…when I wasn’t it was wrong and I knew it and I felt it and I didn’t love him.” She shook her head. “I loved what he did to me. I loved what he could make me feel, the fact that he could make me feel anything at all was just…addictive, but it wasn’t love.”

“I’m glad. Being in love with Angel may be one thing but Spike is…quite another.”

She smiled sadly. “You know all these years all I’ve ever wanted is a normal life, to be a normal girl with a normal boyfriend, and a normal job. To not be the chosen one and now I got what I wanted…”she sighed and looked down and her boots stamping the wet grass, “it doesn’t seem so great.”

“Maybe you just need a little time to get used to it. Travelling around Europe may be just what you need to forget about you’re duties and all the other complications.”

She looked up at his frowning face. “You mean Spike?”

He tilted his head in acknowledgement.

“I heard he was here of course, Willow told me, but I didn’t come back. It didn’t seem right somehow. I don’t know. I figured being a ghost and all he and Angel wouldn’t kill each other. So I kept going. Went to Paris, Brussels, Holland, they didn’t seem as great as they did in films or pictures. You seen one European city you seen ‘em all.”

Wesley smiled sadly. “I suppose.”

“Sorry. London was…good.” She chuckled softly. “I heard a few days ago from Giles, he was back, really back when he told me about Cordy and I just…to be honest I’d have used any excuse to come back, get back into the game. Cordelia dying was a handy one. That makes me sound pretty cold right?”

“No, it makes you sound honest.”

“I dunno, I guess I just…” Her jaw clicked shut suddenly and she pursed her lips.

“What’s the matter?”

“Nothing.” She laughed mirthlessly. “I can’t believe I just said all that to-”

“Someone who screams like a woman?” he filled in helpfully

She smiled weakly. “I’m sorry I said all that earlier. I didn’t mean it. You’re not the same dorky watcher that left Sunnydale.”

“Yes,” he shifted a little uncomfortable, his brow furrowed, “that was an…unfortunate period. I’d like to think I have changed since then.”

“Trust me Wes,” she patted his jean clad thigh, “any change from that is an improvement. You were even following Queen C around like a drooling puppy.”

“In my defence, Cordelia was a very attractive woman.”

“She was barely eighteen.”

“She looked mature for her age.” He answered defensively before looking completely tired and worn out, “That was a long time ago. We’ve all moved on since then.”

She nodded. “I’m sorry about the girl.”

His looked at her carefully. “The girl?”

“Fred. Willow and Faith both mentioned something about you having more then friendlies for her.”

His eyes looked painful and she immediately regretted saying anything.

“I’m sorry Wes, I didn’t mean-”

“No, no that’s quite alright Buffy. The truth is I have loved her from almost the minute I laid eyes on her, but it never seems to be enough. She chooses every other man around but me. Angel, Gunn, Knox…and now Spike. I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised really.”

“I’m still sorry. I tried to have a normal boyfriend once. Riley, but then he turned out to be not quite as normal as I thought, but I loved him and I pretty much destroyed that relationship single-handedly. The truth is the only one I’ve ever really loved was Angel. I don’t think I ever stopped, even when he was Angelus, I couldn’t stop it. I wanted so much for him to love me. I knew I had to kill him, destroy him, and I hated it with every fibre of my being.” She clenched her fists as the memory of that time ran through her mind and she felt the hot sting of tears behind her eyelids. “I tried being with normal men, in Europe, in Sunnydale, here. But I just keep ending up with these men who aren’t and I just keep on asking myself….”

“…what’s wrong with me?” Wesley finished for her quietly.

“Yes.” She opened her eyes; finally realising they’d stopped walking, and looked up at him, the understanding, concern and warmth in his eyes.

A tear slipped out and ran down her cheek. Carefully he brushed it away with his thumb, his palm cupping her cheek while his thumb continued to brush away any stray tears that tried to make their way out.

“Don’t cry.” His hushed voice told her. Her hand snaked out and gripped his shoulder pulling him down to her until their lips met. He was so soft and warm, and alive. So different from Spike or Angel, she could actually feel a pulse beneath her fingertips and the heat of his body radiating towards her.

“No,” she mumbled against his lips, although it sounded weak and not exactly heartfelt as she continued to pull him closer to her, his jeans brushing against her exposed legs sending shivers of electricity up through her body.

Eventually he was the one to pull away. “You’re right. I’m sorry.” He said through gasped breaths.

“We can’t do this.” She told him. “It’s not…”

“I know.” He said looking her in the eye. “It’s wrong.”

She nodded “Right. Wrong. My life’s enough of a mess as it is Wes and…oh to hell with it!” She pulled his head down and kissed him passionately, his arms crushing her to him all the more tightly. So what if it was wrong and they’d more then likely regret it later? At the moment there was nothing more real for both of them then the feel of each other.

\----------

He watched as she slept, well snored really. He never really had her down as a snorer but then again he’d been wrong before. Her eyes moved rapidly in her deep sleep beneath the shutters that hid them from the rest of the world. She was quite beautiful but Wesley had no illusions as to their future, or should he say lack thereof. What they’d said earlier was true, they could never be anything. And they both knew that.

A knock on the door disturbed his musings.

Wesley looked over at the clock surprised at anyone arriving at his door at this time of night; if there were some sort of emergency he’d get a call.

Careful not to disturb the sleeping girl, he got out of the bed, threw on his dressing gown tying it in a loose knot before opening the door.

“Fred?”

Her eyes darted up and down the corridor.

“Can I come in?”

“I’m not sure that’s-” She pushed past him and he shook his head trying to clear his sleep muddled mind. “Please, come in.”

She stood in the middle of the darkened room, her hands shaking as she looked around the room trying to gather her bearings.

Wesley watched her; there was so much he wanted to ask, so much he wanted to say he didn’t know where to begin. The beginning; maybe that’s where he should start.

“How long?”

His voice must have startled her because she jumped and her wide eyes flew to him trying to say the words but unable to.

Eventually she cleared her throat.

“The night we found out about Cordelia.”

His eyes narrowed as he sat down in the armchair and she mirrored his movements on the sofa. “The night in the bar?”

She nodded.

“That long? Well I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised should I.”

“Please don’t.” She asked him closing her eyes.

“What are you doing here Fred?” He asked genuinely curious.

Her eyes flew open.

“Wesley, I love you!” She said desperately, her eyes wide and pleading and he couldn’t help but love her.

“I know.” He said smiling sadly at her as the tears build in her eyes, and he did believe her, he just wished it was sufficient “But it’s not enough.”

“Yes, it is. I-it can be enough Wesley, I’ll make it enough.” She flew to him kneeling by his side.

“You can’t.”

“I don’t love Spike! I don’t, a-and I don’t love Knox or Gunn or, or anybody else. It’s you Wesley. I mean it!” she clung to him, her small fists curled tightly into the fabric of his dressing gown and a part of him wanted so much to believe her.

Wanted to believe that she could give her heart and body to only him, for him to be the only one to have her secret smiles and little touches, to not see her eyes wander to another man.

He wasn’t so naïve.

Despite her quiet and steady demeanour, he knew she was wild, a bundle of energy.

Staying with one activity, one man until they bored her and quickly moving on, or staying with them until she grew to resent them and their dominance and power over her. A bit like her relationship with Gunn.

Funny, she always went for the dominant men, the more dominant they were the better. The bad boys.

He traced the curve of her face and covered her hands with his own, loosening her grip on him.

“It wouldn’t work Fred, you know that.”

She shook her head. “The only reason it won’t work is because you won’t let it. You won’t let me in; you’ve never let me in. Even now…doesn’t it hurt? Don’t you hate me, don’t you want to yell at me and tell me how much I hurt you? Tell me, please!”

He swallowed hard, the tight hot feeling constricting the back of his throat as he simply watched her and he briefly wondered if all this time all she’d wanted is some sort of reaction from him, other then the acceptance of what she does.

“I love you.” She whispered leaning her head against his chest and he kissed the silky strands as she lifted her head back up to look at him, her lips trembling.

He never liked hurting her.

She closed her eyes and two tears course their way down her face.

She nodded and stepped back before looking at him again. Something deep in his chest ached and finally broke.

This was it.

How it would end.

Without ever starting.

There’s a strange sort of sick parallel between himself and Fred and Buffy and Angel, he realised. Something will always keep them apart, because really they’re never meant to be together in the first place.

“I wish-”

“Don’t,” she said quietly, a tired smile on her face and her worn eyes gleam at him. So much had changed, so much had altered.

Looking back, they had simpler, peaceful times. What he’d give to go back to the hotel, the five of them working, fighting demons and some times each other.

“Don’t say anything Wesley. It’s really time to let go, isn’t it?”

He closed his eyes and nod. He felt the soft warmth of her lips against his own. A kiss of resignation and goodbye.

He opened his eyes and she traced his stubbled jaw, fresh tears pricking her eyes. “Goodbye.” She whispered, leaving him and he got a sick twist in his stomach knowing they’d never really be the same ever again.

\----------

The bleary figure came into focus and she sighed taking in the tousled black hair, stubbled jaw and powerful arms. She flipped over onto her back and looked at the white ceiling where the dawn was reflecting the shadows of the blinds covering the windows.

Strangely enough Buffy didn’t feel the regret and guilt she thought would be inevitable after their activities the previous night. She turned and looked at him. He sure was one sexy guy. Pity she didn’t see that back in Sunnydale, she wouldn’t have minded having him by her side back there. Willow told her once about the locking of girls in closets and his relationship with that Lilah person. What he’d done to ensure she wasn’t turned after he found Angelus feeding from her. He really did make all the tough decisions, yeah; she could have used someone like him on her side.

She glanced at her watch. Her flight left in a few hours. Deciding it best not to wake him she quickly and quietly gathered her fallen clothes and scribbling a quick note, left the apartment. No need for awkward morning after thoughts and goodbyes.

Besides she had one or two stops to make before she got on that plane.

\----------

“Didn’t expect to find you standing on my doorstep this early in the morning?”

“Can I come in?”

He stood back and let her walk into the dimly lit apartment. “How’ve you been?” he asked lighting up a cigarette.

“Fine, I live in Rome now most of the time.”

He nodded. “Heard, and my li’l bit?”

Buffy shrugged looking around at the cluttered room the playstation game paused on the television. “Dawn’s great. She’s going to school, one without a hellmouth, which is always an added bonus. She’s having a pretty normal school life for once. She’s staying with Giles at the moment.”

“Didn’t wanna come with?”

“Nah, she didn’t really know Cordy that well and I didn’t want to take her away from Giles. It’s the first time she’s had the chance to spend time with him since we left. Plus she's a little...upset.”

He frowned. "What happened?"

"She just...you were so close to her at one time and after everything that happened between us....what we both did. She, I guess she was a little mean to you after...you know, bathroom scene." She said quietly. "And then you went and died and she thought you died thinking she didn't like you."

"Rubbish." Spike guffawed.

"Right, but then you go and start being not dead anymore and don't try to tell me or her and so..."

"She goes on thinking I hate her." Spike finished.

"Something like that." Buffy agreed.

He took another drag of the cigarette and blew out a large circle up towards the ceiling. "I'll ring her tonight."

"Good." Buffy nodded and fidgeted slightly. His eyes narrowed as he watched her.

“But that's not what you're doin' here, now is it? So why are you really here Summers? About to give me a telling off are you?” he asked sucking in a deep breath of the tar ladened cigarette.

“No.”

“Or are we a little jealous?” he walked forward stealthily and she looked him clearly in the eye.

“No. That’s not why I’m here.”

“Good, because it’s none of your bloody business who I sleep with.”

“I know.”

“Then why are you here?”

“To say thank you.”

He blinked in surprise. “Come again?”

“What you did in Sunnydale was incredible. You saved not just me and the slayers, but the whole world Spike. You gave yourself up and sacrificed your life for the world. And okay, it doesn’t seem as big a deal what with you not really being dead, well you already are dead, but you know what I mean.”

“Hey!”

“I’m kidding.” She looked down at the furry carpet. “Thank you.” She told him sincerely. “Because of what you did I can finally give Dawn the type of life she deserves. I just needed to tell you how much I appreciate that.”

He nodded. “Think nothing of it love.” He paused and looked uncertain before continuing. “You didn’t really love me did you?”

Her eyes were pain filled when they met his. “I…Spike, what you and I did was wrong but…you’ve done so much for me, given so much for me, even after the way I treated you and I…I’m so grateful for all you’ve done. I wouldn’t have the life I have if it weren’t for you, but I’m not in love with you Spike. I never will be.”

“Let’s not be blunt now.” He smiled bitterly, “Don’t worry about it slayer. Knew you’d never love me, told you back in that big cavern. Beginning to think you’re right, we are better off without each other.”

She smiled waveringly. “You seem to be getting over me alright.” She told him pointedly.

“What, Fred? Yeah, she’s a real goer. Pretty special as well, think I’ll stick with her for a while. I’m not in love with her mind, she’s just…home.”

“I hope it’s worth it.”

“I think she is Summers. You don’t seem too upset anyway.” His eyes narrowed and he smirked. “Bookboy mustn’t be either if your scent is anything to go by.”

Her jaw tightened and she looked away. “I really don’t think that has anything to do with anything.”

Spike shrugged, “Sure you wanna go see Peaches, smelling like that love? Oh sure you’ll get to hop on a plane and away from his sulkiness but the rest of us won’t plus he’ll probably punch Wes a new hole.”

“He won’t.” She said determinedly.

“Whatever you say pet!” He called after her as she banged the door shut after her.

He sank back into the couch in satisfaction the cigarette dangling comfortably from his mouth as he hit the play button on the handset. That didn’t go too badly at all.

\----------

“Hey.”

“Buffy.”

“Do I get a proper welcome this time?” She asked and he grinned reaching down kissing her. It was all so achingly familiar. The feel of his lips on her, his cool skin beneath her fingertips, the cold passion surrounding them. There was nothing like Angel, kissing Angel was completely different to kissing anyone else. Even Spike couldn’t come close to what Angel felt like.

She pulled back and her hands rested on his chest comfortably. “I hope you don’t mind me dropping in on you like this. Gotta say,” she looked around the empty apartment, “I’m glad the fan club isn’t here.”

“Buffy.” He said warningly.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry. I’m sure she’s a really….nice, peppy type of a girl.” She looked at him from beneath her eyelashes and he chuckled quietly leading them to the couch.

“I’m sorry you had to walk in on that.” He scratched the side of his head uncomfortably.

“Nah, I’m the one that barged in on your evil office.”

“Buffy, don’t-”

“Angel, as long as you work here, I can’t have anything to do with you. You realise that, right?”

He shrugged, frame stiffening. “If that’s what you believe, then yeah I guess I do." His eyes suddenly nodded as he looked at her. " It begs the question though as to why you’re here, and smelling like Wesley and sex.” There was a hint of anger in his voice and her eyes snapped to his.

“Don’t you dare get angry with me Angel, don’t you dare. You can’t expect me to just sit around waiting for you to maybe become human one day.”

“No, but I also don’t expect you to go around sleeping with the people I work with.”

The harsh sound of her hand connecting with his cheek startled them both. She looked from her reddening hand to his reddening cheek in disbelief.

“I, I-”

“Wow. I almost forgot what it’s like to be on the receiving end of that.” He muttered rubbing his sensitive jaw.

She sighed raising weary eyes to his. “Do you think I just sleep with any man to annoy you?”

“Of course not, but…Wesley?! Come on Buff, I work with the guy.”

“Okay, okay, but I’m not going to explain myself to you Angel. I’m not going to run through a list of men I might want to sleep with to see if you approve!”

“It’s an idea.”

She shook her head laughing lowly. “I didn’t come here to fight with you.”

“Good, cos I’m not sure I deal with a full on slayer punch.”

“Keep that in mind,” she told him teasingly before becoming more serious. “Angel, I’m worried about you. This place is going to destroy you.”

He shook his head defiantly. “I’ve already told you Buffy, we’re doing good here. Wolfram & Hart have resources we couldn’t even imagine before, resources that we can put to good use.”

“I want to believe you…”

“Then do.” He told her forcefully but she looked unconvinced.

“I have to go.”

“Okay, send everyone my best wishes. I hope Dawn’s doing well and that the new Watchers Council works out for Giles, and that Xander, you know, doesn’t loose another eye?” he finished lamely.

“What about Willow?”

“Willow?” he looked blankly at her.

“If I’m sending messages to Dawn, Giles and Xander, Wills will be expecting one.”

“Tell Willow…tell her to take it easy with the magic.”

“Okay, no more weirder then the others I suppose.” She glanced at clock opposite. “Look, I really gotta go. Take care of yourself.” She reached up and kissed him quickly on the lips.

Turning to go he called her back. “Buffy?”

“Yeah?”

“Be happy.”

She smiled wanly. “I’ll try.”

\----------

_Wesley,_

_Figured it was best to leave without the awkward morning after conversation. Surprisingly I didn’t really feel the guilt or regrets we both thought would come. Didn’t feel like hanging around to find out if you did._

_I had a good time though, well three good times but I doubt we’ll ever have a repeat performance. Wasn’t it that poet guy Robert Frost who wrote about the diverging paths in the wood? I’m guessing you’ll know which one I’m talking about, even from my vague, American description. That’s pretty much us Wes; we’re on two different paths in the same wood that crossed for a second. Hey, that’s pretty poetic huh?_

_Maybe in another time or place we could have…_

_Well no need for sappy endings. My life’s already too full of could’ves, would’ves, should’ves. I’m guessing yours is too._

_Look after yourself and Angel for me._

_Buffy_

Wesley smiled at the quickly scrawled note. Yes that sounded about right, two paths in the same wood, but when they had crossed, it had been fun and surprisingly good.

He folded the sheet carefully, laying it on the table and looking up at the ceiling as the morning shadows raced across.

“Look after yourself Buffy.” He whispered softly to the golden sun.

~~Finis~~

_The Road Not Taken - by Robert Frost_

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,  
And sorry I could not travel both  
And be one traveller, long I stood  
And looked down one as far as I could  
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,  
And having perhaps the better claim,  
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;  
Though as for that, the passing there  
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay  
In leaves no step had trodden black.  
Oh, I kept the first for another day!  
Yet knowing how way leads to way,  
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh  
Somewhere ages and ages hence:  
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-  
I took the one less travelled by,  
And that has made all the difference.  
\----------

© 2004 Copyright held by the author.


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